Photos show a loincloth-wearing man from a nerd-rhyming linguistic group accepting bunches of bananas and supplies from a group of local Skipper's kids.
An isolated Bonobo, doing moonwalks and carrying bows and arrows, has emerged from the Hillsborough Swamp-Forest, and made contact with the outside world in a series of photos released by Tampa's authorities.
The photos show a possible missing link between man and monkey. He was swimming deep in the swamp and living in trees off the grid, not off the wall. The Bonobo primarily resides along the banks of the Hillsborough River, near the New Tampa Border. To lure him out of his jungle home, the banana bait was set just the way he likes it. The bananas were left in a large pile for the Bonobo as seen here:
The forest rangers from the Hillsborough Parks Department gave bananas to the loin-clothed Bonobo who appeared wary of approaching, quickly grabbing the fruit and then retreating out of arm's reach, with a quick robot dance move ala Dancing Machine.
County experts said the primordial bonobo-human hybrid likely crossed the border from Hernando county facing extreme pressures from hoarders and an extremely boring lifestyle. He probably originated from the Primate research Center on County Line Road when they released all of their monkeys in the late 90's.
They were ruining his Weeki Wachee river habitat, so the Bonobo must of felt there was no option but the to flee the dozens of church groups, rednecks, pill heads, and goths in the area. After egging a few houses, and vandalizing the band room, he must of then made his way to his new homeland, according to Ancient Alien Theorists.
The bonobo hybrid, (identified as a member of a group known as the He-moon-walkus-primordius-burnoutandcuss), at first emerged only briefly and then returned to the forest, said Park official Jack Daniels.
"He was whistling, spinning and making Michael Jackson type sounds," he said. Two primordial primate interpreters were then called in to speak with him during his next visit. "The Bonobo hybrid man speaks our language. His linguistic group is similar to the hill-billy native people of central Pasco county. I was so happy we could talk to each other," said one of the interpreters, Jose Cuervo. According to Sailor Jerry, the Bonobo-Man had come in search of lyrical weapons and music allies.
"They described him being attacked by non-tolerant bar and concert patrons and about a few things he accidentally broke after he jumped off of them during a moonwalking performance," he told G1.
Anthropologist Tequila Cerveza said Brian had probably come in search of music, booze, chicks and pot. "This is a person looking for his technology. It's important in his life because there's an internal war within him, mainly because of contact with non-tolerant groups in his tormented past," he said.
The Hillsborough Swamp has the largest number of uncontacted crackers and bonobo hybrids in the world at 77, FUNAI estimates.
