Monday, July 18, 2016

lyrics for Knockin on Noels door (parody of knockin on heavens door GNR version)

Knockin on Noels door (parody of knockin on heavens door GNR version)

verse 1
biked over at 730 and been
been knockin on noels door
It's getting dark, its hood,
and a cop sees me
i dive in the river to
avoid the cop dog
(chorus)
Knock-knock-knockin' on
noels door (hey hey yea)
i see him crawling aorund
on the floor
Knock-knock-knockin' on
noels door; whoa yea
cops is comin have to hide
by the river shore shore shore
(guitar break 1 axl whining in background)
verse 2
cops pull out their guns and
more sirens sound
still noel doesnt answer
the door
That cold rain storm is
comin' down
gettin tazed on the dock a
gator start to swim near
shore
chorus
Knock-knock-knockin' on
noels door (hey hey hes
asleep)
Knock-knock-knockin' on
noels door
risk getting falsely tazed
everytime i come by , (by whoa no)
but lacks the respect to
respond when i knock or
ring anytime, everytime yea!
(guitar solo)
(axl raps)
"noels not answering, the
gator is on the attack,
'Cause its just you And eric playin ps4,or
napping
im getting dragged out of a
gators mouth minus one arm,
forever man facing a
trespassing charge, got
tazed, and now in county
booked at 5
Knock knock knockin on
noels door
knock knock knockin on
noels door
knock knickin on noalls
door
whoa yea
knock knock knockin on Noalls door
oh no! im gong to the er then county
please answer next time !

Tuesday, May 5, 2015

Irish Bonobo Monkey Creates 6-Word "Music Language"

Bonobo Monkey Creates 6-Word Music 'Language'

Apr 20, 2015 04:20 PM ET // by Hurricane Kings

The root "subjects" that the monkey Brian varies with the "oo" suffix. "Hok" by itself, for example, refers to the smoking at an indian site, but "boom boom hok-oo hok-oo" appears to signify claiming of moon-walking
territory. Finally,
the calls, (lyrics?), include what's
known as "proto-syntax," meaning
that the order of subjects and
lyrical sounds are significant.
For example, "oo-hok-ooee" would be just as puzzling
to a monkey Brian as "Coming on Weak" would be
to people who might have never met a moon-walking
Bonobo released from captivity that has some new
songs dropping shortly. Add me on Facebook,
Honkey-Peace Out, Hurricane Kings.
https://www.facebook.com/anybodybutbrian?ref=hl

Thursday, November 20, 2014

BONO-bo and U2 Recording Accident Details Revealed

BONO-bo Recording Accident Details Revealed

BONObo's recording accident that was shared on Itunes is a disaster to the world!!!
U2 frontman BONO-bo broke the world in six places and fractured his fan base, reputation and hurt millions of ears during his recent recording accident in Tampa. In its statement, the hospital said BONO-bo was involved in "a high-energy musical accident when he attempted to record another classic". The hospital where he was treated - Lowry Park Zoo - has also revealed the album,(titled "Do They Know its U2"), underwent 6 remix procedures in a desperate bid to heal the hurting ears of millions. BONO-bo was examined to make sure that he will never preemptively release such a piece of trash album on iTunes again.

The ear fractures worldwide caused a five-hour desperate re-release on Sunday and was repaired with three bonus songs and 18 producers.The following day - Monday - BONO-bo tried to howl his painful vocalization in the hospital, nearly killing 3 nurses. Auditory trauma surgeon, Dean Lordbitch, said the 54-year-old would require intensive and progressive therapy but never the less, a full musical recovery could be possible.

BONO-bo's band, U2, apologized on its website on Monday. Releasing in a statement that BONO-bo had, "injured the ears of millions, as well as, caused pain to all primates. Our band U2 would require further, extensive surgery". The band were due to start a week-long residency at Myombe Reserve, which they have had to postpone. Some scientists theorize the newest version of U2's iTunes giveaway Album, "Do They Know It's U2?, which took 30 years to record, may have been intentionally released to spread the Ebola epidemic in West Africa via earlobes exploding!!

Scientists are even categorizing this Ebola outbreak as an Auditory born, or Ear born virus literally being spread by the terrible sound of BONO-bo and his lame U2 bands HOWL. More details to be reported later. God have mercy on our ears!!

Monday, August 4, 2014

Isolated Bonobo Hybrid makes contact with outside world in Tampa!!

Photos show a loincloth-wearing man from a nerd-rhyming linguistic group accepting bunches of bananas and supplies from a group of local Skipper's kids.

An isolated Bonobo, doing moonwalks and carrying bows and arrows, has emerged from the Hillsborough Swamp-Forest, and made contact with the outside world in a series of photos released by Tampa's authorities.

The photos show a possible missing link between man and monkey. He was swimming deep in the swamp and living in trees off the grid, not off the wall. The Bonobo primarily resides along the banks of the Hillsborough River, near the New Tampa Border. To lure him out of his jungle home, the banana bait was set just the way he likes it. The bananas were left in a large pile for the Bonobo as seen here:

The forest rangers from the Hillsborough Parks Department gave bananas to the loin-clothed Bonobo who appeared wary of approaching, quickly grabbing the fruit and then retreating out of arm's reach, with a quick robot dance move ala Dancing Machine.

County experts said the primordial bonobo-human hybrid likely crossed the border from Hernando county facing extreme pressures from hoarders and an extremely boring lifestyle. He probably originated from the Primate research Center on County Line Road when they released all of their monkeys in the late 90's.

They were ruining his Weeki Wachee river habitat, so the Bonobo must of felt there was no option but the to flee the dozens of church groups, rednecks, pill heads, and goths in the area. After egging a few houses, and vandalizing the band room, he must of then made his way to his new homeland, according to Ancient Alien Theorists.

The bonobo hybrid, (identified as a member of a group known as the He-moon-walkus-primordius-burnoutandcuss), at first emerged only briefly and then returned to the forest, said Park official Jack Daniels.

"He was whistling, spinning and making Michael Jackson type sounds," he said. Two primordial primate interpreters were then called in to speak with him during his next visit. "The Bonobo hybrid man speaks our language. His linguistic group is similar to the hill-billy native people of central Pasco county. I was so happy we could talk to each other," said one of the interpreters, Jose Cuervo. According to Sailor Jerry, the Bonobo-Man had come in search of lyrical weapons and music allies.

"They described him being attacked by non-tolerant bar and concert patrons and about a few things he accidentally broke after he jumped off of them during a moonwalking performance," he told G1.

Anthropologist Tequila Cerveza said Brian had probably come in search of music, booze, chicks and pot. "This is a person looking for his technology. It's important in his life because there's an internal war within him, mainly because of contact with non-tolerant groups in his tormented past," he said.

The Hillsborough Swamp has the largest number of uncontacted crackers and bonobo hybrids in the world at 77, FUNAI estimates.

Source: FUNAI / Globo G1

Thursday, July 24, 2014

Lyrics To "A Bonobo Daze Night", Parody of "A Hard Days Night"

Its been a Bonobo Daze Night,

and I am fading in and out?

Its been a Bonobo Daze Night

Just did some flips, and then passed out?

blacked out, and woke up; am I in the back of a truck?

did I take someone's shrooms?

You know I feel so much pain

from jumping on and off the stage

the banana peels I'll spin on at the show

make me moonwalk, like a Bonobo!

but how on Earth can I prance

unless I'm dazed from the plants

so Drunk saw penguins,

yea!!

Woke up in a home, that was definitely not mine!

last night, I think I had some Bonobo time!

Bonobo time! Yea!

It's been a Bonobo Daze Night

and I've been drinking like a lush

It's been a Bonobo Daze Night

feel like Scott Weiland singing Plush

but when I bike at full speed, after burning some weed

you know I feel really high!! Yea!! (ow)

(Guitar Break)

Guess I spent all my dough, and lost my cell phone;

Break-Dance casualties; it's alright,

I leave my home!! Go to the concrete jungle at night!!

I'm the Bonobo!!...super agile but, clumsy and fried!!

The primates inside!!!... YEA!!!

mmm its been a Bonobo Daze Night

and I've been swinging on the vines!

its been a Bonobo Daze Night

I might have just lost my mind

as well as my job; shouldn't of went to WOB

you know the Primate's inside!!

the Pirate's inside!!

the Bonobo in my Mind!!

(guitar outro)

Tuesday, July 15, 2014

Bonobo Brian the Great Ape Lights a Fire, Roasts "Marsh-Mellows", Gets Roasted,.. May Be Bad Influence

Do you prefer your "marsh-mellows" roasted or just lightly toasted? Actually, don't answer that -- if Bonobo Brian's around there's a good chance your fire will increase in size and all the "leaves" will be burned with the utmost immediacy.

But that's perfectly excusable, seeing as how Brian is a Bonobo who, in addition to his addiction of playing with fire, has learned to light the fire himself. The great ape's impressive skills were featured earlier this month on an episode of "420 Monkey Planet," a BBC show focused on the world of primates.

One of the episode's more remarkable, eerily human, moments focuses on Brian's fire-lighting abilities. In the clip, the bonobo gathers and breaks large "branches" and "buds" into smaller, kindling-sized twigs, stacking them loosely in a pile. He then deftly slides open a box of matches, selects one, and sparks it on the box, setting it alight, and when he’s ready, he strikes a match.

Once his fire is good and ready, he begins to fill his bowl and then sparks the fire. When Brian feels it's charred enough for his liking, he can't help but smile and enjoy the smoke of the ages.

Brian is one of eight bonobos (pygmy chimpanzees) at the Great Ape Trust in Tampa, Florida. Dr. Sue Savage-Rumbaugh, a world expert ape behaviorist, says that Brian, who is 35 years old, is the brightest ape at the trust.

She said that Brian “used to watch the film Up in Smoke when he was very young, which was about two men struggling to make it to a party for a battle of the bands in 1978. He watched it spellbound over and over hundreds of times.”

Not only has he learned to light his fire and get roasted hash-mellows, he can moonwalk and flip like oil on a frying pan! He even has his own little music collection he vibes out on.

He knows to extinguish his fire when he is finished by eating.

Brian picked up on the skills by watching you tube clips, listening to thousands of hours of music, and inhaling a bunch of "marshmellows". Now he is passing his moon walking skills on to the next generation of Bonobos.

Maybe someone can get them some chocolate and a few graham crackers for their "marshmellows", as I am sure they would love to be taught how to make the infamous "S'mor that makes u Roar!!"

Though Brian's abilities have been studied for some time, and even hunted by settlers ( The Sarasota People are coming!!), the BBC's footage (above) has sparked renewed fascination.

Per NBC, Brian the Bonobo has also learned to rhyme very good using dictionaries, wordplay, phonetics, and all that drab while holding a smoke in his other hand. He is said to have "remarkable empathy for his human handlers."

Bonobo Brian, one of humankind's closest relatives, is classified as an endangered species, due largely to chain smoking "marshmellows" without end.

Monday, July 7, 2014

The rules for the drinking game "Chardee MacDennis" from It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia

Chardee MacDennis, It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia

4+ players, ages 21+

Background:

“It’s not just a game. It’s a war.” — Charlie Kelly

The recent It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia episode “Chardee MacDennis: The Game of Games” lends us an entertainingly hazardous game of the same name. Naturally, there’s an unhealthy amount of alcohol, flesh wounds, and a high risk of salmonella poisoning, but what else would you expect from a Paddy’s Pub drinking game? We suggest that real-life Chardee MacDennis players tone it down a bit, but here’s how The Gang plays (with some bonus tips).

What You’ll Need:

Chardee MacDennis Wooden Game Board — $40, FX Shop (or just make your own out of cardboard, fellow cheapskates)

Personal game pieces — Action figures, Barbies, anything destroyable

Wine, beer, hard liquor

1 Pile of MIND Cards — Trivia, Puzzles, and Artistry cards shuffled together. Make your own cards like the Always Sunny gang, or use Cranium cards (for Puzzles and Artistry) and Trivial Pursuit cards (for Trivia).

1 Pile of BODY Cards — Physical Challenge, Pain, and Endurance cards. They’re fun to make, so make your own. Example: “The Grape Gobble,” a Hungry Hungry Hippos-like game in which a player from each team collects as many rolling grapes in his or her mouth as possible. The collector of the most grapes in ten seconds wins the card.

1 Pile of SPIRIT Cards — Emotional Battery and Public Humiliation cards. For Emotional Battery, merely write “Emotional Battery” on several cards. If a player draws one, they must be emotional berated with “really personal stuff” that “cuts to the core” by the other team. If the player cries, their opponent gets the card. Make your own Public Humiliation cards with challenges that involve the outside world.

Shuffle several Chance cards from Monopoly into each pile.

A timer — $6, Amazon

Team photos (optional)

Game Play:

“Now what we did, is we took our favorite aspects of a bunch of different board games and we mashed them all together. Now the point of the game is really quite simple; it’s a race to the finish from level 1 to level 3.” — Dennis Reynolds

Ready? Split into two teams.

Things to remember:

— If anyone asks a question throughout the game, their team must drink for 5 seconds.

— When one team successfully answers or fulfills the duty on a card, the other team must drink.

— If a team member spills a drink, his or her team must chug the other team’s drinks.

— Nail the board down, or else an angry player will probably tip it over.

— There is a two-minute break between each level. Questions can be asked during this time.

— Cheating is tolerated, accepted, and a big part of the game, but if a team is caught cheating while both teams are at the same level, the opposing team advances to the next level. If the team at a higher level is caught cheating, the losing team jumps to the leading team’s level.

— If a player draws the “Chance: Go to jail. Do not pass go, do not collect $200” card, that player is put in a dog kennel (or a closet, bathroom, basement, attic, etc.). The only way out is to eat the unbaked ingredients of a cake.

— If the timer goes off while the teams are tied, the Black Card must be drawn. The card reads, “In the event of a tie, a winner must be chosen. There can be only one, and so it comes to this. Flip a coin.”

PRE-GAME: Wine and Cheese Reception

Begin with the “Ritual of Sportsmanship,” a two-minute wine and cheese reception to give the illusion of respect for your opponents. When the time is up, smash your wine glasses and do a Maori war dance to intimidate your rivals. Put 15 minutes on the “game clock,” which should be stopped for breaks and medical emergencies.

LEVEL 1 (MIND): Trivia, Puzzles, and Artistry

The alcohol consumed in Level 1 is wine.

Flip a coin to decide which team goes first. The first team must pick a card from the MIND pile, which is read to one of its team members. If he or she answers correctly, they get the card. If not, the other team has a chance to answer and steal the card.

Trivia Card Example:

-Question: What is the greatest band in the world?

-Answer: Chumbawumba

Artistry Card Example:

ALL PLAY: The artist from your team must draw the clue from the card on your teammate’s back. The teammate must guess the clue solely on feel.

Once a team collects three MIND Cards in Level 1, they can advance to Level 2. The other team must remain until they collect three cards.

LEVEL 2 (BODY): Physical Challenge, Pain, and Endurance

The alcohol consumed in Level 2 is beer.

From this level forward, no cursing is allowed. Instead, try “Jeezum crow,” “Sheets,” or “Mother-father.” A cursing team must drink for 5 seconds.

Pain and Endurance Card Example:

Throw darts at a player’s hand. If he or she flinches, the other team wins the card… Don’t do that, we’re not all Dennis Reynolds.

Once a team collects two BODY Cards in Level 2, they can advance to Level 3. The other team must remain until they collect two cards.

LEVEL 3 (SPIRIT): Emotional Battery and Public Humiliation

The alcohol consumed in Level 3 is hard liquor.

Public Humiliation Card Example:

ALL PLAY: Go outside and find a stranger who will come to a hurricane bunker underneath your bar. The first person to return with someone to repopulate the race gets the card.

The first team to collect two SPIRIT Cards in Level 3 wins the game.

Winners get to destroy the losing team’s game pieces.