Ever since he got banned from Southern Ground, people have been curious about Bonobo Brian's strong attraction to booze.
The notion crystallized one day 2 years ago in the drunkard filled pubs of Tampa, when there was observed an abundance of beer cans littering the dance floor, fragrant with the smell of alcohol. Perhaps, the odor of alcohol in fermenting, smashed beer cans actually draw the Bonobo to the scene, (he normally is hidden among the now defunct greenery pub). Maybe Bonobo Brian's attraction to alcohol is not unique in the animal world, and actually has a survival advantage.
Brian, who specializes in the biomechanics of Moonwalks, spent the ensuing years accumulating evidence for this hypothesis, (ie getting drunk all the time) which he presents in a new book, "The Drunken Bonobo, Why I drink and abuse alcohol" . He recently discussed his motivations for writing the book, and the evidence that our attraction to alcohol is an evolutionary adaptation.
Q: What are you arguing in this book?
The argument here is that our attraction to alcohol goes back about 18 million years, to the origin of the great apes. The alcohol attracts the bonobo like a pile of bananas, especially to T-Flats, and Skippers. Now, sometimes he stays in; it depends on how much he consumes. He is not drinking down gin and tonics, but he is getting a long, sustained, low-level exposure, especially during happy hour, which is the Bonobo's hour, and is actually 3 hours, but nevermind.
So, I hypothesize that social facilitation of communication and food mooching and all these bright warm fuzzy feelings Bonobo Brian gets when he has a drink have basically evolved to facilitate rapid identification of chicks at a distance – he sees a babe, he has liquid courage, and then he acts a fool. The Bonobo begins to prance and gyrate while moon-walking in a desperate bid for attention. And if he can get access to the keg, he consumes as much as possible, and shares it with his close friends, which is a well-documented behavior. The positive psychoactive effects of alcohol may simply exist to enhance the courage of the Bonobo to Moonwalk and Jump off Tables. And for other people to tolerate him even being there.
Q: Do bonobos get a buzz on?
No one knows. The bonobo is hard to study in the field. We know he likes alcohol. Darwin comments on consumption of alcohol by captive bonobo's, which is well known. But captive bonobo's eat diets imposed on them, so their preference for alcohol may not relate to natural preferences. So the Moonwalking Bonobo is a freewheeling wild primate that cannot be studied in captivity, primarily because he is burnout who can't go to a scientists house without smoking out.
It is like alcohol in fermenting nectar of a night-blooming Malaysian palm, the Bonobo drinks lots of it. And, he is always getting drunk, whether its Malaysia, Asia, or while zoning out watching Fantasia, not the bad american idle singer, the bad disney movie, -
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